Are your eye lashes thinning? Are your eye brows suddenly looking a bit sparse? Is the hair on your head escaping? If you haven’t waxed, lasered or shaved your entire bush – is it randomly balding?
Where is this hair going? I never see it in my sink or shower drain? Is there a perimenopausal hairy fairy that comes in the middle of the night with tweezers and takes my hair? These hairs are valuable – at least leave me a present under my pillow.
To make matters worse, as these hairs are mysteriously falling off it seems others are sprouting up in the most bizarre place – my chin! These hairs are driving me crazy. My make up mirror is failing me and suddenly my rear view mirror is my new best friend. What a mirror! It is able to telescope in on these sprouting danglers. Thank G-d!
I recommend recruiting at least one much younger friend who is not in perimenopause and menopause, does not need “readers” and therefore will be able to spot these chin hairs before they are long enough to braid. Next, take your favorite tweezers and tie a pretty ribbon around them that matches the interior of your car. Take down your kid’s baby shoes, or the sentimental ornament that you may have hanging on your rear view mirror. (If you have still have dice dangling – these should have come down a long time ago anyway!) Yep….hang up your tweezers. You are in perimenopause and menopause and you will be happy that your tweezers are always with you. However, you must be willing to Sign the NO TWEEZING and DRIVING Campaign. Under no circumstance are you allowed to tweeze while you are driving. You must wait until you have parked your car. I have a call into Oprah to see if she can kick off this special menopausal campaign for me.
As for all those missing hairs, first make sure that you’ve had your thyroid levels checked. I suggest a great brow pencil to fill in your eye brows, individual false eyelashes for a little more eye lash action.
For the thinning bush – don’t grab that sharpie you used on your kids camp clothes to fill in. Perhaps we should do what so many balding men do with their receding hair lines – shave it all off! Or just simply focus on the positive – something on your body is thinning! Enjoy it!
