Yourself This Valentine’s Day

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Do you want to fall in love this Valentine’s Day? I have the perfect valentine for you – YOU! When is the last time you sent yourself some love? The University of Michigan Institute forSocial Research found that college students who base their own self-worth on what others think, and not their own value as human beings, often pay a mental and physical price for it. So, ladies, this Valentine’s Day – be your own special Valentine!

Here are 4 simple tips to help you become your own sweetheart:

Pay it forward, but start with yourself!

Look at yourself as you do your best friend – with kindness, admiration and love. In referencing a study by psychologists, Ed Diener of the University of Illinois at Urbana- Champaign and Shigehiro Oishi of the University of Virginia, Psychology Today notes, “True happiness lasts longer than a burst of dopamine, however, so it’s important to think of it as something more than just emotion. Your sense of happiness also includes cognitive reflections, such as when you give a mental thumbs-up or thumbs-down to your best friend’s sense of humor, the shape of your nose, or the quality of your marriage.” Make a mental note to love yourself – find some self-compassion. Value your wisdom, your life experience, your potential. Make a list of all the qualities and characteristics that make you unique and take them to heart. Every life lesson you’ve experienced has added to your wisdom. Celebrate YOU!

Book a date with your BFF (YOU.)

Become your own BFF (Best Friends Forever). Arrange your day around things that bring you joy. This could be lunch with a mentor, your lover, or your mother. Or perhaps book a play date with your grandchildren, go on a shopping spree, or volunteer at your favorite charity. Book it! Treat yourself to something that you love to do.

Use it or lose it!

The best way to love yourself is to take good care of your health! It may be time for a tune up! For women in perimenopause and menopause, make sure you have a healthy vagina. I reached out for help when my declining estrogen levels resulted in the thinning (I wish it had the same effect on my hips) and drying of the lining of my vagina. Ladies, the health of your vagina is important whether or not you are having mad passionate sex with a partner, your vibrator or no sex at all. When it comes to the vagina, thin and dry is out and can cause problems other than in the bedroom. With the help of a menopause specialist, you can find relief in no time.

I am not anti-aging!

Aging is a gift. Because of medical advances and more progressive thinking, postmenopausal women are enjoying fuller, sexier, more soulful lives than ever before. We boomers wouldn’t have it any other way. We want to celebrate life at every age. Believe it –60 is the new 40!

I hope you have a wild and crazy Valentine’s Day this year with your new BFF – YOU!

Shower yourself with random acts of kindness and joy! I you!
Suffering in silence is OUT! Reaching out is IN!

Click here to download my free eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS The Girlfriend’s Guide To Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause.



After struggling with her own severe menopause symptoms and doing years of research, Ellen resolved to share what she learned from experts and her own trial and error. Her goal was to replace the confusion, embarrassment, and symptoms millions of women go through–before, during, and after menopause–with the medically sound solutions she discovered. Her passion to become a “sister” and confidant to all women fueled Ellen’s first book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness. As a result of the overwhelming response from her burgeoning audiences and followers’ requests for empowering information they could trust, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM, was born.

  • What a lovely way to celebrate Valentine’s Day! I am not sure I could shower myself with any more love and attention than I already have, but I am going to try!

    • You are my role model, Carol! My plan is to make more time to shower myself with love and attention in 2016!

  • I will be spending the day alone in Cabo, it will be a treat to just look at the ocean!

    • How wonderful, Tam! It is gorgeous there. Enjoy!

  • Helene Bludman

    Wonderful advice, Ellen. We do need to take care of ourselves first and foremost.

    • Yes….this is a work in progress for most of us!

  • Haralee

    Great tips and reminders! I have a lunch date planned with my husband and a bike ride planned with me. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

    • What a great way to celebrate, Haralee! Happy V Day to you, too!

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