Sexual Wellbeing for Menopause - Ellen Dolgen
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Sexual Wellbeing for Menopause

Women have the right to toe-curling, earth-shattering orgasms!

Did you know that our brain is the biggest sex organ we have? Information is power.

Menopause is an inevitable phase in a woman’s life that brings about significant hormonal changes. Alongside physical and emotional transitions, many women may experience a drastic decline in their libido, which can have an impact on intimate relationships and overall well-being.  Just know that you are not alone!

Understanding the Impact of Menopause on Libido  

As we go through menopause, the decrease in hormones (estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone) and changes in cortisol levels can wreak havoc on your libido. Time to take control and get the help you need and deserve.

Libido Hacks  

If you would prefer to mop your kitchen floor rather than get in bed with your lover, you may be experiencing some of these menopausal symptoms that can def hack your libido:

  • Vaginal atrophy or dryness caused by your plummeting estrogen levels can make vaginal tissue drier and thinner resulting in painful sex and even vaginal bleeding during sex.
  • Night sweats can disturb our sleep and make us exhausted.
  • Emotional changes such as depression, irritability, and mood swings.
  • Weight gain can cause discomfort and take away your desire for sex.
  • Cortisol is chronically elevated when your stress levels are high, and this can lead to a low sex drive.
  • Thyroid imbalance can impact your sex drive. Learn more here.

You don’t have to suffer in silence. These physical changes may be scary, annoying, or even infuriating, but they don’t have to put your sex drive in park.

Get Professional Care

Make an appointment with your menopause specialist for a pelvic exam. Don’t have a menopause specialist? I have lots of tips on how to find one here. Bring in a list of your physical and emotional symptoms so your menopause specialist can create a plan to meet your health needs.

As women age and estrogen decreases, the cells lining the vaginal skin lose their glycogen, and the pH in the vagina increases. So have your specialist check your vaginal pH balance and examine your pelvic floor. Yes, that’s a thing.

Discuss Treatment Options

Lubricant or Moisturizer  Non-hormonal vaginal lubricants can help decrease friction and discomfort during intercourse. Be sure that they are water-based and designed for vaginal use. Petroleum-based lubricants can harbor bacteria in the vagina, leading to infection, and damage latex condoms. Vaginal moisturizers, like facial moisturizers, can help relieve dryness and rebalance the acidity of the vagina, and most women find these helpful to use every day. Both lubricants and moisturizers provide temporary relief of symptoms but often do not treat the underlying condition of vaginal atrophy.

Pelvic Floor Therapy If it is determined by your menopause specialist that you have pelvic floor issues, do not fear. You can strengthen and tone the pelvic floor muscles. This therapy is more than Kegels and works wonders!

Learn more about your pelvic floor here.

Local Estrogen Therapy (LET) If you are all lubed up and sex still hurts, time for local estrogen therapy. When it comes to the vagina, moist and plump are in. A dry vagina is a chronic condition that, if left unattended, will only worsen.  LET works wonders – and quickly! LET is localized estrogen therapy to treat the vaginal walls and vulvar tissues.  It comes in a vaginal cream, tablet, or ring.

Testosterone Therapy Ask your menopause specialist to measure your “total” testosterone and “free” testosterone. Free testosterone measures your levels of bioavailable testosterone that is not bound by blood proteins. Supplementary testosterone can improve your sex drive, sustain skin elasticity and tone, help prevent osteoporosis risks, decrease body fat, and increase muscle strength.  If your testosterone levels are below the norm and you have the symptoms, your menopause specialist may suggest an “off-label use” of testosterone, with or without estrogen. Why “off-label? The FDA has yet to approve testosterone for women. (Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!)

The “Little Pink Pill”  If your menopause specialist determines that you have Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD), discuss whether or not it might be beneficial for you to try Addyi. The generic name is Flibanserin. This is a non-hormonal pill for premenopausal women.

Deal With Those Hot Flashes & Insomnia If you are experiencing insomnia due to hot flashes, discuss the various hormonal and non-hormonal options.  Educate yourself on the latest hot flash relief options in this Menopause Mondays blog.

Supplementary Self-Care Despite our yearning (or lack thereof) for various poses and positions, we can’t yogi our vaginal pain or bleeding away. Self-care plays a vital role in our quality of life and overall well-being, including our sexual health. Prioritize activities that promote endorphins, reduce stress, and boost self-confidence. Engaging in sensual activities that prioritize pleasure without the pressure of performance can be an excellent way to revive our sex drive during menopause. Try activities that allow you to reconnect with your body and explore what feels good. This might include self-pleasure, regular exercise, massages, or experimenting with different forms of touch and sensation for a spark of novelty that doesn’t involve penetration. Embrace the opportunity to rediscover what brings you pleasure and communicate your changing needs and desires to your partner.

We are not meant to resign ourselves to living out the second half of our lives as though we’re holed up in a convent!

Menopause may bring changes to your libido, but it doesn’t mean the end of a fulfilling and pleasurable sexual life. By understanding the potential influence of menopause, seeing your menopause specialist, and adopting a proactive approach, you can reclaim your vaginal health and sexual well-being.

You possess the ability to fan the flames and flashes of intimacy!

My Motto:  Suffering in silence is OUT! Reaching out is IN!

If you want to educate your employees, colleagues, or friends about menopause, look no further! Book Ellen for your next event.

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* does not recommend, endorse, or make any representation about any tests, studies, practices, procedures, treatments, services, opinions, healthcare providers, physicians, or medical institutions that may be mentioned or referenced.


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If you want to educate your employees, colleagues, or friends about menopause, look no further!

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