On the Twelfth Day of Christmas My Hormones Gave to Me............ - Ellen Dolgen

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas My Hormones Gave to Me…………

This Christmas, it’s a hormone-filled holiday, thanks to our old friend’s perimenopause and menopause.

On the first day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: a bladder bursting with pee.

On the second day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: two tender breasts and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the third day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: six chin hair sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: seven tears a-brimming, six chin hairs sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: eight thoughts a-missing, seven tears a-brimming, six chin hairs sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: nine sexless nights, eight thoughts a-missing, seven tears a-brimming, six chin hairs sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: ten words a-bleeping, nine sexless nights, eight thoughts a-missing, seven tears a-brimming, six chin hairs sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: eleven women griping, ten words a-bleeping, nine sexless nights, eight thoughts a-missing, seven tears a-brimming, six chin hairs sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts and a bladder bursting with pee.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my hormones gave to me: twelve drenching hot flashes, eleven grumpy women, ten words a-bleeping, nine sexless nights, eight thoughts a-missing, seven tears a-brimming, six chin hairs sprouting, five months of bloating, four extra inches, three big zits, two tender breasts, and a bladder bursting with pee.

Merry Christmas to all!

Remember:  Suffering in silence is OUT!  Reaching out is IN.

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*EllenDolgen.com does not recommend, endorse or make any representation about any tests, studies, practices, procedures, treatments, services, opinions, healthcare providers, physicians, or medical institutions that may be mentioned or referenced.

 

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2 thoughts on “On the Twelfth Day of Christmas My Hormones Gave to Me…………”

    1. Thanks, Robin! We gotta keep our sense of humor. I read somewhere recently that said people who have a good sense of humor, have a better sense of life.

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