My mother, may she rest in peace, was always appalled when I used the “F’ word. In her world, this was the worst word in the English language. “F” that……………the naughtiest words in the menopausal dictionary are the “BS” words. Bathing Suit! Holy Crap summer is here!
Of course, my “birthday suit” is the most comfortable, but I only wear that when splashing in my bathtub or shower. Summertime usually involves lots of eating, drinking, and fun in the sun. I can’t procrastinate anymore. It’s time to deal with the “BS”!
I keep my BS tucked away in an orange box (of course, it’s orange, my fav color). I never know how this BS situation will pan out. The time of day that you try on your bathing suits must be selected very carefully. I suggest trying them on the very first thing in the morning before you have even dared to put any fluid or morsel of food into your body. Have a serious conversation with that loud, critical voice in your head that never thinks anything looks good on you. Get that negative chatter under control.
I open up the orange BS box, brace myself, and then pull out all of my bathing suits – every black one of them! I slip on the first one and face the mirror. The glare of my bright, shining white legs causes me to lunge for my sunglasses. Is this the year that I find a self-tanner that doesn’t make me look orange????? The freckle population and brown spots have grown since last year. I go to my Dermatologist to get a yearly check-up to make sure they are all harmless.
Things have shifted since last summer! Last year’s bathing suits aren’t fitting quite the same. So, I let my fingers do the shopping on my computer’s keyboard. I prefer to try on bathing suits in the privacy of my own dimly lit bathroom – no neon dressing room lights for me. I found some fabulous bathing suits with innovative fabrics that offer triple holding power! These suits come in all sizes and shapes. You can even shop by bra size on some of the sites. Shop away, ladies – these figure-flattering bathing suits are lifesavers!
“F’ worrying about what “BS” you are going to choose. Stock up on your favorite sunscreen, grab a hat and have fun this summer. You deserve it!