Mother’s Day, Puberty, and Menopause!

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Things can get crazy when puberty and menopause live under one roof! It’s something I like to call dueling hormones. This can be a perfect storm!

There is a real opportunity to take these hormonal challenges and turn them into a time of growth and connection.

The bond between a mother and child is unique.  In honor of Mother’s Day, take a look at some characteristics and traits that you may have in common with your mother and/or child.

First and foremost, be sure that you have educated yourself on this time in your life and have found a Menopause Specialist to help you with your menopausal journey.

Often, communication becomes a challenge when puberty and perimenopause occupy the same household. It’s important to keep talking. Let your children know that you are here for them if they need you and that you respect their journey towards independence. Remind yourself that you two are on parallel roller coasters.

Conversations with your teenagers about sex can be awkward. Sadly, some parents avoid it all together. Most discussions do not seem to include a chat about what to expect when the period packs up and leaves.  In addition, this conversation seems to have been omitted from most health/sex education classes.  This lack of education on basic women’s health is unfortunate, as anyone who has a vagina or knows someone who does is going to go through perimenopause and menopause some day.

The best way to teach is by example.  Download my free Menopause Symptoms Chart and start charting your menopausal symptoms.  Sit down with your teens and have an open discussion about some of the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause that you may be experiencing.  You may both find that your pubescent teenager is, also,  experiencing sleepless nights, mood swings, anxiety, trouble concentrating, exhaustion, pimples galore, heart palpitations, weight gain, headaches, or has felt overwhelmed and unusually tense.

Hormonal changes are common throughout life. In puberty, pregnancy, perimenopause and menopause, your levels rise and fall, and the side effects can be quite difficult. Take some time to break open the conversation with your own mom about her experience. After you get past your mom telling you that she breezed through menopause with no problems, ask her if she ever experienced sleepless nights, hot flashes, mood swings, uncontrollable irritability, a disappearing libido or memory loss when she was in her 40s or early 50s. This is usually quite the ice breaker!

This Mother’s Day, my heart is full of love and pride as I watch my daughter mother our first grandchild.  I marvel at her devotion, love, and passion in raising her daughter by her beautiful example. Let’s teach the future generations the power of open communication and learning from those they love.

I shall be honoring my dear beloved Grandmother & Mother and all the women in my life who have mentored me and taken me under their wing over these past 63 years.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Remember:  Suffering in silence is OUT!  Reaching out is IN.

For more great tips on how to find a menopause specialist and deal with menopause download my free ebook: MENOPAUSE MONDAYS  the Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause.    

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After struggling with her own severe menopause symptoms and doing years of research, Ellen resolved to share what she learned from experts and her own trial and error. Her goal was to replace the confusion, embarrassment, and symptoms millions of women go through–before, during, and after menopause–with the medically sound solutions she discovered. Her passion to become a “sister” and confidant to all women fueled Ellen’s first book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness. As a result of the overwhelming response from her burgeoning audiences and followers’ requests for empowering information they could trust, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM, was born.

  • carla birnberg

    That is most definitely happening here right now – – and I’m so grateful someone warned me of the pitfalls of perimenopause and puberty long before it actually started to happen. Otherwise I would have been totally taken aback.

    • How great that you were prepared, Carla. I think that helps so much.

  • Such an important topic especially when more women are waiting until their late 30’s or early 40’s to have children or become Mothers. Well said Ellen!!

    • You are so right. Because women are having children later in life – these hormone can collide.

  • Barbara Feldman

    Just imaging puberty and menopause in the same house terrifies me! Great advice, though, for helping us navigate life’s inevitable bumps.

    • Yep……………it can be quite challenging, but not insurmountable if you keep the conversation open and honest.

  • Roxanne Jones

    A wise and heartfelt post, Ellen! I dear friend who adopted a daughter (as a single mom, no less!) was going through perimenopause just as her child was hitting the tantrum stage. She used to joke about her having a hot flash just as her daughter would have a meltdown–and it wasn’t pretty! They weathered the storm, and today are proverbial poster children for an open, loving and mutually respectful mother-daughter relationship (the daughter is now off at college)–due in no small way to my friend’s willingness to talk openly and honestly with her daughter.

    • Thanks for sharing this beautiful example of a healthy and happy mother/daughter relationship!

  • Lois Alter Mark

    Happy Mother’s Day to you too! Yes, all those female hormones at once can be very challenging!

  • I never could get my mom to open up much about her experiences with menopause, which is a shame. But great post and Happy Mother’s Day.

    • Mine either, Rebecca. She told me that she didn’t have time for menopause. She made me feel like it was my fault that I was experiencing brain fog, insomnia, mood swings and hot flashes. We can certainly do better for our daughters, stepdaughters, daughter-in-laws, granddaughters, nieces, colleagues, and friends!

  • johanna

    The menopause is a difficult time, i started to struggle with this when i was 30 years old, can you imagine it? i found some ways to relax and distract myself but do you know other ways for this? I found an app that i recommend Thanks in advance 😀

    • Johanna, I am sorry that your menopausal journey has been difficult. But, I am happy that you found an app to help you. I shall check the app out.