Become Your Own Menopause Health Advocate!

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You can’t leave your perimenopause and menopause symptoms on the kitchen counter when you leave the house.

You can’t pretend to be “fine” when you are dripping wet from a hot flash, sleepless and irritable. Your family, co- workers, loved ones, and friends know when you are not feeling well.

Here are some simple tips that will help you become your own best Health Advocate:

  1. You are not alone! According to, “An estimated 6,000 U.S. women reach menopause every day.  That is over 2 million of us per year. In addition, more women are living beyond age 65. A women’s average life expectancy in the western world is estimated at 79. 7 years.”
  1. Trust How You Feel! – You know when you don’t feel well. If you go to a healthcare provider to get menopause advice and help and your provider tells you, “You’re too young to be in menopause”, don’t sit there and accept it! Do not go home and suffer in silence.
  1. Reach out and get the help you need and deserve!
  • Get the proper hormone testing to measure your levels such as DHEAS, Estradiol, Free and Total Testosterone, FSH, Progesterone, Thyroid Panel, just to name a few.
  • Chart your symptoms. I have worked with doctors to develop a helpful chart that will help you to quickly and accurately explain how you feel to your doctor.  You can download it here.
  • Understand your options – both hormonal and non-hormonal.
  • Communicate openly and honestly to your loved ones so that you can get their love and support.
  • Remember, if you do not feel better, communicate that with your menopause specialist. If they are unable to help you – find another one! No divorce attorney is needed!

You CAN get the help that you need and deserve if you educate yourself.  Be proactive about your health, rather than reactive.

For more detailed support, download my FREE eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause. This is a comprehensive guide to all things menopause—tips on how to find a menopause specialist, the tests, the symptoms, treatments, and long-range effects on a woman’s health.

My motto is:   Suffering silence is OUT!  Reaching out is IN!


After struggling with her own severe menopause symptoms and doing years of research, Ellen resolved to share what she learned from experts and her own trial and error. Her goal was to replace the confusion, embarrassment, and symptoms millions of women go through–before, during, and after menopause–with the medically sound solutions she discovered. Her passion to become a “sister” and confidant to all women fueled Ellen’s first book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness. As a result of the overwhelming response from her burgeoning audiences and followers’ requests for empowering information they could trust, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM, was born.

  • Haralee

    Great tips Ellen. We all must be our own health advocates and communicate clearly our concerns to our health practicioners.

    • Yep……..clearly and honestly! This will ensure that we are on the road to a HEALTHY new year!

  • Lois Alter Mark

    So true. We have to be our own advocates – but I really appreciate you being one for all of us, too.

  • Such great tips! I completely agree with all of it, and especially how important it is to find a provider who will listen. They may not accept your insurance, but they are worth it!

    • So true, Angela. You need to have a great menopause specialist/partner if you want your menopause business taken care of properly!

  • Helene Bludman

    I know if I have questions I can go to you … and that is very reassuring! Thank you for all you do to help us navigate these turbulent waters!

    • Anytime, Helene! I am here for you, just as I know you are here for me! I love the sisterhood!

  • It really makes me happy to see so many resources focused on helping women have a better ‘pause.

    • Many women are so busy taking care of others, it helps to have a gentle reminder to take good care of ourselves, as well.

  • Wow, I love all these resources. I’m sharing this with my sis too bc she is suffering big time right now with these issues. Thanks much for sharing this with us. I can’t wait to dig into it all.

    • Be sure to tell her if she has any need to reach out to me for additional support, my email is I am here for her!

      • thanks so much Ellen. That is very kind of you. I will let her know. Poor thing is miserable. xo

        • There is no need to suffer…there are lots of options out there! Tell her to email me!

          • I gave her your deets and your site. She is so excited to talk to you! Thanks again.

          • Of course…………anytime! :>)

  • Ellen F

    hi. Found this site late last night. I am sort of accepting the pain I am in while trying to be intimate with my husband. After reading some of what Ellen says, I really need to get myself off to a doctor who will listen. Intercourse is SO painful and it all happened so quickly. My doctor advised me to use olive oil as a lubricant. I could barely handle the speculum without clawing the table. She doesn’t get it as she hasn’t gone through it herself. Where do I find an expert? I also NEED to communicate my needs better to my doctor.

    • Ellen, you do not need to suffer with this! There are lots of options to help eliminate this problem!

      First of all, you need to find a menopause specialist! Cut and past this link –

      For more detailed support, download my FREE eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause. Cut and paste this link –

      This blog will help you talk to your new menopause specialist about the various options available! Copy and past this link:

      Good Luck and DO NOT GIVE UP until you find the help you need and deserve!!!
      Keep me posted!!! BTW love your name!

      • Ellen F

        LOL! Thanks so much for all of the links and I will explore. I do not want to live like this. Hot flashes are under control, but this whole lack of intimacy thing really gets me down. I am blessed to have a loving hubby who is in this with me.

        • I had this same problem….it is fixable. I promise!

  • Diego

    Well said! Great advice for health and life in general!

    • We need more men in our lives supporting us and encouraging us to take good care of ourselves! thanks for stopping by!

      • Diego


  • Sarah

    This is so important! As always a very empowering message to women in the struggle!

    • It is hard to put ourselves on our own TO DO LIST! But, it is so important to our health and to our loved ones!