Brenda’s Story - Ellen Dolgen

Brenda’s Story

I’m a firm believer in sharing. When we share our stories, we help others who are in the same perimenopause and menopause boat.  If you’d like to share your story, please email it to me at .

Here is Brenda’s Story:

I read your “Shared Stories” this morning and cried a little bit.  It was a very good read but it made me realize how much I don’t take good care of myself.  I’m 51 and I started going through menopause at 46. At that time I had no idea of the impact this process what I have on my life. I would have dizzying skin crawling hot flashes that would make me want to die. The sense of dread was unbearable. I was reduced down to the life goal of just getting through the next day for two years. My face was a brightly painted smiling lie. I went to a female doctor who was like “Yup. You seem to be in menopause.” I couldn’t talk to her. She wasn’t interested. But after reading on your site about what to ask doctors, I’m determined to find someone to help me. The hot flashes are not horrible anymore just uncomfortable.

I have searched and found an over the counter combination for relief. This year is significant because I am living for the first time with the courage to care about me. It started with my walk away from my twenty-two year ministry. What a relief it was such a burden to try to follow doctrine instead of just following my heart. In leaving my religion I found my relationship with my heavenly Father.

I also self-published my book of poems and I’m going on a real vacation next year. My vacations over the years were family or religious duty oriented. It was never a spa or a cruise or the beach. Never. I don’t where I’m going but it’s going to be rest and relaxation. I’m going to start saving money for myself and not feel guilty about because I don’t help my grown (29 &31) able bodied children more. I’m fighting to be free of parental guilt, to be free of the paralyzing fears that shaped me into a chameleon. To my own self I’m learning to be true. It feels so good to break the bondage. It is a lonely place because I’ve walked away from unhealthy relationships but it is empowering to know I don’t need that!

My stamina is diminishing

and gray hair is appearing

But my heart is still beating strong

and my ears hear beautiful love songs.

Nobody told me about anything. So I started by telling my daughter and I will share with others all that I find. I know many in the African American community feel it is a lack of faith if they can’t pray away the symptoms. They’ll deny it but I’ve experienced it firsthand. All I know is the same God who gave us menopause also gave us medicine. I wish I could meet you and maybe just have lunch and a laugh. May you be blessed because you have been a blessing.

Best wishes for your continued success and thank you.

Click here to download my free eBook, MENOPAUSE MONDAYS: The Girlfriend’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving During Perimenopause and Menopause.

My motto: Suffering in silence is OUT!  Reaching out is IN!


2 thoughts on “Brenda’s Story”

  1. Brenda said: “The hot flashes are not horrible anymore just uncomfortable.
    I have searched and found an over the counter combination for relief”.

    Well I want to know WHAT the OTC combination she FOUND, that finally gave her relief ! It leaves us suffering ladies HANGING! Brenda, how about sharing the name of the OTC combination that gave you relief, so we could try it too.

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