Menopause Mondays: Losing! - Ellen Dolgen

Menopause Mondays: Losing!

menopause symptoms

It seems like “winning” is all we are talking about these days!
What about losing? Why is this losing thing so bad?


I love the lyrics in “From Me to You” by Raining Jane

“Empty refill
Weak heart strong will
Waiting until
Craving is fulfilled
Breakdown breakthrough
Worn out renew
New Life that grew”


For the past 8-10 years I have been losing my period!  This is perimenopause and menopause. Did anybody sit you down for a talk about menopause? Me neither! I never really thought about it much when I was younger. If someone were to have asked me when I was in my 20’s, “What is menopause?” I would probably have said, “It’s when you’re really old and your period magically goes away one day.” Not so much!

Periods are real drama queens – they come and go and really make their exit felt.  Perhaps if we spent as much time talking about losing our periods as we did about getting them, there would be fewer women totally blindsided by perimenopause symptoms! The perimenopause process takes about 6 – 10 years to complete, and this usually begins in your 40’s! Yes in your 40’s, when you are young! You don’t hit menopause until you’ve been without your period for 12 consecutive months. The average age of menopause is 51.

There are a few more types of menopause that can be a bit confusing.  For those who experience natural menopause (not induced by surgery) before they are 40, that is typically considered premature menopause. Early menopause is natural or induced menopause at or under the age of 45. Many women who begin to experience perimenopause symptoms or pre menopause symptoms in their 40’s, assume they are going through premature menopause or early menopause, because most of us were never taught that perimenopause symptoms begin in your 40’s! Don’t worry, you are not alone!

For women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s, there’s a whole lot of losing going on! If you are prepared and understand the chapter you are about to enter, you do not have to feel lost! Losing can be a good thing: no more periods on your vacation, no more worries about getting pregnant (you have to be past the perimenopause stage for this sigh of relief), more time to focus on yourself, and the best part is, you can often feel freer and more comfortable with yourself.

With so much focus on winning these days, we have lost track of the balance that results from the ups and downs of life.  Losing isn’t always bad, in fact, it can be a good thing; a stepping-stone for growth and new beginnings and greater improvements (just ask Charlie!

PS I hope I see you Thursday, April 7th at the San Diego Vagina Monologues at my virgin acting debut! It’s going to be a fab night!


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