I have never baked bread before, but apparently my shmirshky is full of yeast.
A few days ago, I woke up with a little itch – just a little one. I sloughed it off as just a random itch. The next day, I found myself walking with my large purse strategically plastered over my crotch, as I subtly tried to scratch my shmirshky. (This walk is slightly different from the “walk of shame,” but not that different from the erection hiding walk that young men often attempt with books instead of backpacks as camouflage.)
After the itch, other symptoms began popping out of the oven; like burning, soreness, and then came the deadly discharge. There was no denying it: I had a yeast infection. You cannot buy this yeast in the grocery store. You grow it yourself. This kind of yeast is a fungus scientifically referred to as Candida albicans which causes vaginitis. Lovely!
During PM&M (perimenopause and menopause) our hormones are fluctuating, and the shmirshky can become drier and the membranes thinner (this is the only thing that thins out during PM&M, just ask my seamstress), which can cause the bacteria in our shmirshkies to go a bit berserk. This fluctuation can result in a “welcome mat” for bad bacteria and fungi. This increases our chances for not only vaginitis but cystitis (urinary tract infections.)
I promised I would tell it to you straight – so don’t be shocked if you find this misery making you a total bitchface. No need to panic. If you find that you are cookin’ up something in your shmirshky, don’t ignore it. Call your gynecologist, as this misery is easily treated. If you find that you are getting these infections often, your gynecologists can prescribe you with various solutions for prevention.
UPDATE: I am now on day four of my medication. I have torn up the welcome bacteria mat and am soon going to be putting out my “Bakery Closed” sign.
8 thoughts on “Shmirshky Bakery”
Natural yoghurt can be helpful in restoring natural flora to the vagina (eating it not putting it in the vagina!).
Good advice! Would have been more fun if ice cream did the trick!
another reason to drink Vodka instead of moldy, yeasty, wine!
thanks for being straight up!
Cheers! 🙂
Love my martini!
This was totally informative. Too bad most doctors just tell you to get the RX and “be gone!” As a woman who just had a Yeast Infection recently, am very happy to put up the “bakery Closed” sign.
😉
Love it!
Some shmirshkies find that herbal remedies are very helpful. The most important thing is that you listen to your body and you educate yourself on all the options. There is a daily symptoms chart in the back of my new book that your wife might find helpful in assessing how she is feeling and functioning on a daily basis.
No gas and bloating – thank goodness! Thanks for passing on the article.