$1000 chicken bone

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I come from a long line of bone eaters. (Don’t get to excited – this is not sexual) I know it sounds really dinosaur-ish (is this a word?) but we like to pick up the bones and eat the meat off. We love to gnaw on the bones – chicken bones, steak or veal chop! No more boning for moi! I was happily chewing away and then I heard this crackling noise. I ran to look in the mirror – yikes – half of my veneer was off. I immediately called Dr. Copp…he worked me in. I sheepishly told him I was eating a bowl of oat meal and found this chicken bone in there….hoping to prevent the lecture.

Next thing I know I have a numbed mouth. A numbed mouth makes eating very difficult….brainstorm – if there was some way to make this numbing stuff longer lasting we could patent it and offer it as a diet shot. I could see the lines out the door now. I am pondering this as the dental assistant shoves a metal plate full of gooey stuff under my top teeth. Felt like a tooth girdle. I hate that! Next thing came the tooth condom. He likes to call it a “temporary”. I come back in two weeks to get my veneer put on. Now that is quite the condom! I will never look at a bone the same again.

After struggling with her own severe menopause symptoms and doing years of research, Ellen resolved to share what she learned from experts and her own trial and error. Her goal was to replace the confusion, embarrassment, and symptoms millions of women go through–before, during, and after menopause–with the medically sound solutions she discovered. Her passion to become a “sister” and confidant to all women fueled Ellen’s first book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness. As a result of the overwhelming response from her burgeoning audiences and followers’ requests for empowering information they could trust, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM, was born.

  • jack

    Love it!

  • marika

    ellen – you always have a funny twist on everything. boning is a good one.