Menopause Mondays: The Real Way to Look Great in a Swimsuit this Summer

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Menopause MondaysIt’s happening—again. Swimsuit season is here. Our favorite stores have been overtaken by spandex, and it seems everyone is talking about scoring a bikini-ready body. It’s hard not to fall victim to the hype and mind-numbing stress that can come with worrying about what we wear and how we look in the less-clothed months of the summer. Instead of falling prey to the season of self-criticism, I am going to look (and be!) fabulous in my swimsuit this year. Before I reveal my secret, let me remind you that beauty is truly found in the eye of the beholder. It is completely subjective… to you and to others.

Consider, for instance, Dove’s new beauty campaign, Real Beauty Sketches, which asserts that only 4 percent of women around the world think they are beautiful! I think we can all agree that more than 4 percent of women out there are beautiful. Problem is, far too few of us think we are one of those beautiful women! For Dove’s social experiment, women described themselves to an FBI-trained sketch artist who then drew portraits based on their self-descriptions. Then, the artist sketched the same women, this time based on someone else’s description of the person. The differences are staggering and show just how differently we see ourselves than the rest of the world does. Contrary to conventional opinion, the world doesn’t judge us near as harshly as we judge ourselves!  Aside from that, if we deem ourselves as beautiful, then we are exactly that!

Bathing SuitIf we drop our gaze below the neck, our perceptions are even more varied. Just look at this vintage weight gain advertisement! Two beautiful women, dressed in matching bathing suits, and the curvy figure is the one to aspire to. The ad is actually selling a weight-gain supplement to the skinny girl who looks a lot like today’s prepubescent models.

We can all probably agree that everyone has a different opinion as to what is beautiful—and where exactly each of us falls on the pendulum. That said, how can we possibly be beautiful all of the time, no matter who is looking at us, and especially in a swimsuit? I’ll tell you the answer: by being confident with ourselves! The ability to love ourselves as we are is without a doubt the most attractive quality around. It’s magnetic. Everyone is drawn to self-confidence, to people who are comfortable in their own skin and live life like they own it.

Self-confidence is the key to enjoying life, and not letting anything hold us back. No matter our points of criticism, negative self-talk holds us back and squelches our self-empowerment. It might seem insignificant at the time, but covering up with a beach towel while your family hits the waves just deprives yourself of joy. You miss out on experiences, on memories, on the moments that shape who you are. Don’t miss any part of life because you think you aren’t beautiful!

As women in the prime of perimenopause and menopause, we have experienced so much and learned even more about ourselves. Let’s show the next generation how to love themselves and always know they are beautiful inside and out. The most impactful way to teach is, for sure, by example. This summer, when you would normally yield to negative self-talk, realize your self-truth and know you are beautiful!

  Suffering in silence is OUT! Reaching out is IN!

 

 

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After struggling with her own severe menopause symptoms and doing years of research, Ellen resolved to share what she learned from experts and her own trial and error. Her goal was to replace the confusion, embarrassment, and symptoms millions of women go through–before, during, and after menopause–with the medically sound solutions she discovered. Her passion to become a “sister” and confidant to all women fueled Ellen’s first book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness. As a result of the overwhelming response from her burgeoning audiences and followers’ requests for empowering information they could trust, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM, was born.

20 Comments

  1. Ned Kennel

    May 28, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    Very nice post. I definitely appreciate this website. Stick with it!

    • Ellen Dolgen

      May 29, 2013 at 9:10 am

      Thanks Ned! I appreciate when I see men on here too! This site is for the guys too.

  2. Ginger Kay

    May 29, 2013 at 8:48 am

    I think the most beautiful women at the beach or pool are the ones who are enjoying themselves. A woman playing with her children or holding her husband’s hand as they stroll along the beach or friends laughing together are all more beautiful than the self conscious woman with perfectly chosen swimsuit.

  3. Haralee

    May 29, 2013 at 11:19 am

    I have one word for bathing suit confidence. Shorts. Not short-shorts but surfer shorts that will let you frolic and swim and go down the water slide with the family with-out a worry of exposure!

    • Ellen Dolgen

      May 30, 2013 at 5:12 am

      Hi Haralee! You’re so right about the power of a great pair of shorts to cover up where cotton cheese may appear.

      • Lisa

        June 5, 2013 at 9:32 pm

        have to laugh -mental pause moment ? cotton cheese ?

        or is it cottage cheese :)))

        or is that the vernacular for your area ?

        • Ellen Dolgen

          June 6, 2013 at 9:23 am

          Your first instinct was right, what was meant was cottage cheese. Oops!

  4. Shannon Bradley-Colleary

    May 29, 2013 at 12:19 pm

    Miss Ellen – you are definitely a beautiful woman subjectively and objectively. I love this post but have one addendum. I feel beautiful on the beach in a one-piece. I don’t need to wear a bikini ever again to feel gorgeous. xo

    • Ellen Dolgen

      May 30, 2013 at 5:14 am

      Shannon – Thank you so much. I am blushing. We’re all beautiful and it starts from the inside. Sexy is a state of mind. Go you for rocking the one piece sister! I’M WITH YOU! I haven’t seen a two piece bathing suit in 25 years!

  5. FancyNance

    June 7, 2013 at 4:28 pm

    Very well stated. I will be sharing this post with my friends. Having said that, and at the risk of sounding superficial, I’m going to add two more swimsuit tips: First, I agree about the shorts and also check out the swim mini-skirts in vogue this year. Second, don’t fall for the “black makes you look thinner” swimsuit myth if you are fair-skinned like me, unless you’re going to the Elvira look. I say go for a bright color that complements your skin tone and makes you look healthy! Then let confidence do the rest. ;-)

    • Ellen Dolgen

      June 10, 2013 at 5:33 am

      Great advice, wearing color is a great way to embrace summer. Thanks for reading!

  6. Carol Cassara

    May 22, 2014 at 7:33 am

    YES YES YES about confidence. And frankly, who cares about cottage cheese? The beach is for swimsuits and we are what we are. We should be happy we are mobile and healthy and able to go to the beach and strut our stuff, at any age and shape. That’s what I think. Loving thyself means those ‘flaws,” too. We are what we are.

  7. Ruth Curran

    May 22, 2014 at 7:38 am

    I love your advice about self confidence and the ad for “Ironized Yeast” :)! Beauty and ideal weight are in the mind’s eye of the beholder and that just might be dictated by the time period! Time for a zeitgeist?

  8. Lois Alter Mark

    May 22, 2014 at 7:57 am

    Great post! Bathing suits are the worst, and it’s sad that so many women don’t go swimming or enjoy the beach just because they have to wear one.

    • Ellen Dolgen

      May 23, 2014 at 11:32 am

      Time to break all those old mantras……….I agree with you…time to ENJOY life!

  9. Melissa Lawler

    May 22, 2014 at 8:54 am

    Let’s go back to the days where Rubenesque is in!

    • Ellen Dolgen

      May 23, 2014 at 11:31 am

      Great idea!

  10. kim tackett

    May 22, 2014 at 3:50 pm

    Yup on the shorts for swimsuits…I don’t think anyone is looking at me anyway, but I don’t want to scare them if they do. BTW, I think it’s amazing how many women can’t name what part of their body they love…I mean, my breasts may be a little droopier these days, but I can still get some cleavage going!

    • Ellen Dolgen

      May 23, 2014 at 11:31 am

      You go girl!

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