Menopause Mondays: Mammogram Photo Shoot!

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menopause mammogram

We are all scrubbed and patted down.  No cream today or perfume.  We feel kind of naked, but one has to go with the photographer’s wishes – don’t want to skew the images.

We park, begin walking in, and then as soon as her hands reach for the door, that damn cell phone rings.  Can’t we have any private time?

Now, we are a bit nervous, because we can’t be late for this photo shoot. We  are in perimenopause and menopause.   We can’t miss the appointment, as it may take months for photographer’s scheduler to re-book us.

Phew…she got off the phone, walked into the waiting area, and checked in.  She is standing outside of the glass door so they can see us.  Thank goodness. Here is the signal. It’s our turn.

There is no rack of clothes to choose from, usually just one piece.  This year, it is a new pink number, not the usual blue flowery ensemble, but still no sequins or beads.  So plain: no shape and no panache.  Oh well, we only have it on for a minute and then it gets draped over our shoulder and is not even in the picture!

Being a model can be grueling.  This shoot involves some smooshing, smashing, and holding your breath.  The good news is, it is over quickly and then it’s present time.  Sometimes it is a new top, sometimes it’s an ice cream.  Her pants are a little tight, so we better stay clear of the ice cream this year, honey.

We know the best present of all is when she opens up that letter and reads, “We are pleased to inform you that your recent mammogram was negative or had benign findings that are not important.”

She just loves this letter!

Hugs,
Ellen’s boobs

After struggling with her own severe menopause symptoms and doing years of research, Ellen resolved to share what she learned from experts and her own trial and error. Her goal was to replace the confusion, embarrassment, and symptoms millions of women go through–before, during, and after menopause–with the medically sound solutions she discovered. Her passion to become a “sister” and confidant to all women fueled Ellen’s first book, Shmirshky: the pursuit of hormone happiness. As a result of the overwhelming response from her burgeoning audiences and followers’ requests for empowering information they could trust, Ellen’s weekly blog, Menopause MondaysTM, was born.